How's this: I'm taking a rancid dump and I just met Janet Jackson. That's text that I'm 100% sure has never been written before now. Dump is nasty.

Late night jalapeno-egg-onion-cheese on a roll to cap off night of Mexican drinking has led to a dump resembling a pinata factory fire for my anus.

This would have been a great dump to use at a protest. Additionally, it would have been equally effective if recorded for a SFX library/compilation.

Had my first "Speedy Gonzalez" (red bull & tequila)... Speedy runs through my system faster than Usain Bolt (Jamaican food).

Dumping out a night of stadium-food (from New Jersey), not sure what smells worse, the feces or Jersey.

Fore some reason, my bathroom smelled like latex when I walked in. Let's rest assured that it doesn't smell like latex anymore. Nope, it smells like human feces.

This dump is nothing to write home about... that's why I write to you.

My engine parts have no sludge on them... My toilet??? Well that's another story. This is a Penske Dump.

This dump has a heartbeat.

I've been taking beer dumps for the last 8 days. I'm in for a dooz of a Monday.

This is some mean stew I am brewing. POO-STEW!

Taking a massive beer splatter at the beer store. Fitting.

This is a future dump, nothing I ate supports this smell however what I am eating tonight should create this odor tomorrow. Spooky.

This dump is a circuit training workout, breaking a sweat and strengthening my abs.

This is what I call an "Indiana Jones Dump" b/c I've willingly gone in with what might not be enuf TP. Kinda like Indy getting under a lowering temple wall.

Just an ol' fashioned beer dump, fartin' out in 3 point harmony ("harmony" meaning jalapeno burn, post-drinking night consistency, and tear-jerking odor).

This dump sounded like a growling animal, now it just smells like a dead one.

...and on the 3rd day my dump ascended into poo-heaven to be seated at the right hand of his father...

I found the payload of Easter Eggs... they're rotten, turns out they were all up my butt. Not anymore! Funny Bunny strikes again!

Believe it, it's true... no drinking for a week, 3 beers in and the shits I had forgotten spare me no tact by thundering in at a bar!