Me and a bunch of people walked the check at dinner last night. I'm taking a hangover black.

I'm taking a dump. It sounds like an elephant playing the kazoo. It smells like regular poop.

Think of a fallen redwood bridging the land on either side of a treacherous river. Then think of my last dump.

I took a mega-deuce on the plane today. I also sat next to (aisle seats, however) the hottest chick I've ever seen on a plane & Oh yeah, I'm taking a dump now.

When dooty calls, light a match and open a window.

Dooty Call: where someone calls you over late at night to take a dump at their house.

This is my 2nd dump of the day.

I'm taking a shit! Rrrrrgh!

Now this is a dump that I wish I could stuff back up my butt and take again!

My Turds are stronger than most people's bones.

This Turd could clog a tuba.

I am currently conducting the 1st Brooklyn Gastrosymphony Orchestra. We'll be closing with a nice rendition of The William Tell Overture.

I'm taking a dump at the poopdeck in Hermosa. In honor of America, last night, I drank exactly 1,776 beers & 231 (America's age) shots of Tequila. I'll probably have this hangover for 4 score and 7 years.

I'm taking a big one. This is brazillian meat, in n out burger, a restaurant burger, and a Taco all in the form of poop.

I'm unclogging the pipes... They were full of stinky poop as it turns out.