I just dropped a turd nearly as big as the one I didn't flush at your house the day I showed you Dogshit Life.

Sat next to Jim Belushi at dinner tonight. I'm taking a dump.

I'm taking dump number 3 on the day. Drinking heavily takes more of a toll on my asshole than it does on my liver!

I'm taking whiskey dump #2 now. DBT/North Mississippi All Stars show last night...

I just stink bombed Donkey Lips' birthday party!

Editor's note: This text message could refer to going number two, or actually dropping a stink bomb.

I'm taking a dump.

I'm still taking a dump.

That turd was the size of a fully grown squirrel.