I've been taking a lot of pasty half dumps lately. 10-12 wipes then a 2nd dump hits me an hour later, followed by another 12 wiper. I've been drinking coffee.
Whenever my friend John goes number two, he sends his friends a descriptive text message. This is a collection of those messages. John is unaware of this blog. He sends these text messages strictly for his own amusement, but I feel they should be shared with the world.
Disclaimer: Post times reflect the moment I receive his messages (Eastern Standard Time) and may not accurately represent the precise times of his dumps.