I've never taken a dump that looks like this. 1/2 bacon-egg-cheese, mussaman curry, and ceaser salad brings about something that looks like a stepped on crab.
Whenever my friend John goes number two, he sends his friends a descriptive text message. This is a collection of those messages. John is unaware of this blog. He sends these text messages strictly for his own amusement, but I feel they should be shared with the world.
Disclaimer: Post times reflect the moment I receive his messages (Eastern Standard Time) and may not accurately represent the precise times of his dumps.