I've gotten to a point in my life now where i enjoy a hot cup of coffee WHILE taking a dump. Best start of a day (yes, I'm aware it's 12:45 pm.) ever!!!
Whenever my friend John goes number two, he sends his friends a descriptive text message. This is a collection of those messages. John is unaware of this blog. He sends these text messages strictly for his own amusement, but I feel they should be shared with the world.
Disclaimer: Post times reflect the moment I receive his messages (Eastern Standard Time) and may not accurately represent the precise times of his dumps.