Cheese overload last night led me to dumpless day (yesterday) and now early a.m. turding. Also refrained from hook-up attempt due to sincere poo-smelling farts.
Whenever my friend John goes number two, he sends his friends a descriptive text message. This is a collection of those messages. John is unaware of this blog. He sends these text messages strictly for his own amusement, but I feel they should be shared with the world.
Disclaimer: Post times reflect the moment I receive his messages (Eastern Standard Time) and may not accurately represent the precise times of his dumps.