Taking a post Chinatown dump. Got wasted losing in a drinking game called "Liar's Dice" to Chinese Dave. My dump is like a long lo mein noodle! Ah ta ta ta ta!
Whenever my friend John goes number two, he sends his friends a descriptive text message. This is a collection of those messages. John is unaware of this blog. He sends these text messages strictly for his own amusement, but I feel they should be shared with the world.
Disclaimer: Post times reflect the moment I receive his messages (Eastern Standard Time) and may not accurately represent the precise times of his dumps.